The Power of Stepping Into Your Child’s World
Why Listening Matters More Than Fixing
Several years ago while working in a residential boys treatment center, a client asked me if I had ever heard of World of Warcraft. I replied that I had, indeed, heard of this game, to which he asked if I had ever played. I responded by telling him that I had never played, but that it looked like it might be fun. He kept pressing, and asked if I wanted to learn about it. Without even thinking, I answered his question with a, “Sure. Why not?” Next, I watched as he pulled his giant World of Warcraft guidebook out, that looked a little bit smaller than one of those old phone books they used to dump on your front porch.
I didn’t know that I would still be sitting there two hours later, listening to him verbally dump every detail of World of Warcraft into my ears — and I mean every detail — every level, character, and plot twist. I didn’t understand half of what he was saying. But that wasn’t the point.
The point was connection.
So often, we as parents or adults expect our kids to engage with our world — to listen to our advice, care about our concerns, and meet our expectations. But when was the last time we truly stepped into their world?
For kids and teens, the things that matter most might not make sense to us. It might be a game, a show, a friendship, music, or a creative interest that seems small or confusing from the outside. Yet when we take the time to ask questions, listen, and let them teach us something — even for ten minutes — we’re showing them something powerful:
“You matter. Your world matters to me.”
That kind of attention communicates love and safety more than any lecture ever could. It builds trust, softens defensiveness, and opens the door to real conversations later on — the ones that actually matter.
The Parenting Shift: From Control to Curiosity
This doesn’t mean you have to become an expert in their interests. It means you get curious.
Ask open-ended questions like: “What do you like most about that?” or “What makes that game/show/song interesting to you?”
Let them teach you something. Teens especially light up when they feel competent and respected.
Notice how the tone of your relationship changes when the focus shifts from fixing to understanding.
When you start showing up this way, something else happens too — your kids begin to mirror that same curiosity and respect back to you.
Try This: The 10-Minute Rule
Set aside ten minutes a day (or a few times a week) to enter your child’s world with no agenda. No lessons. No corrections. Just curiosity.
You might be surprised at what unfolds when connection becomes the goal.
This reflection comes from my new workbook and parent program, “The Parent Reset.”
It’s built for parents who want to stop overthinking, start connecting, and create calm, confident relationships at home.
👉 Learn more and download the workbook here!